Dating Sim/Dialogue

This page covers all the dialogue for ???'s Dating Sim. To see other stuff about ???, see.



=Dialogue=

You have been through hell and back, but now, it's time to atone for your sins in your past cycles.

You must find a mate, or die.

Which direction do you head?

>North (Spearmaster)
You trek to the north, towards a land of towering structures that pierce the heavens. You traverse the rocky, hilly fields, as you avoid the large predators that roam this area. It is here where you hope to find a mate, if they even exist in this strange place... You spot a strange slugcat climbing one of the towers, unlike any you've seen before. It has no mouth with which to eat or speak with, and is able to generate spiky bone-like protrusions from its tail. It does not react when it notices you, giving you a good view of it. Fascinating. Do you approach it, to see if it is your compatible either as a mate or a food resource? No You decide to wait and watch it some more, as you're not too sure what to make of the creature. It simply sits there and continues to generate more and more spikes out of its tail, building an arsenal of weaponry. It must be preparing for a big hunt. A true survivor. You can't help but be impressed.

Grab some spears to assist it in the hunt.

This slugcat could be your hunting buddy! You go to grab a spear off the ground, but as soon as your hand touches it, the slugcat finally reacts to your presence. They unload their arsenal on you, raining down spears at lightning speed. You can't dodge them all, and quickly succumb to your injuries.

END

Yes You approach the strange slugcat cautiously, watching it as it climbs to the top of the tower. You're not sure what it is doing, but you hope that it is another slugcat. Maybe you could have a conversation or whatever slugcats do. You call out to it, but it doesn't react. Perhaps it is deaf, or cannot hear you. You begin to wave your hands in an effort to get its attention.

"Throw a rock at it."

The rock hits their head, and they stare back at you with annoyance. "Can't you tell I'm trying to ignore you? I already had to suffer through being the protagonist of the first More Slugcats dating sim, please don't drag me into this again." You don't really follow the conversation and only stare back in confusion.

"'wat...?'"

The other slugcat rubs their fingers into their forehead in frustration. "Who even decided to make another one of these? All this time people have been waiting for More Slugcats to release... what will they think when they learn that three-and-a-half years of the entire development time was spent solely on developing this dating sim? Look, just come over here and kiss me already and let's get this over with."

"'kiss u?? but you don't have a mouth...'"

"I used to have mouth! Back in the first More Slugcats version. I used to be able to swallow and regurgitate spears... isn't that romantic?" You blush. "yea... that is certainly something~ ///" "But now look how they nerfed me! Unbelievable!!" Spearmaster abruptly stabs a spear deep into the wall with a tremendous amount of force. It's a bit terrifying.

"'how r u even talking to me rn?'"

"What?? Oh... I don't need a mouth for that. I vocalize out of my tail." You stare at the holes on their tail both fascinated and repulsed by their questionable biology.

"Approach the tail."

You lean your mouth towards their tail and they immediately jump back. "Eww, what do you think you're trying to do?" You continue after them until they're backed into the edge of the platform.

"Go for the kill."

As you approach, sharp needles suddenly erupt out of every hole in their tail, piercing through your body in multiple places. You die pretty much immediately.

END

"Share in their frustration."

"i kinda get wat it feels like to be nerfed, tbh..." You pat spearmaster on the shoulder. "i gotta eat soo much food to hibernate, its just dumb. they even removed me from arena mode, wth??!" "Yeah, I guess you have it rough as well. These developers hate us." Spearmaster looks at you with deep understanding. "Honestly I heard a rumor they were going to remove me from the game entirely. Absolutely sadistic."

"Give spearmaster a hug."

"it's ok, we slugcats need to stick together. ilu bby <3" You wipe the tears out of Spearmaster's eyes. "Thank you, I needed to hear that." Spearmaster says. "... But speaking of nerfed, I'm hungry and I need to find nutrients to siphon with my spears." Spearmaster generates a fresh spear out of their tail and looks at it with admiration.

"'let's go search for food'"

You and spearmaster climb to the roof of the tower in search of food. You overlook the canopies of structures out in the distance. The view is industrial, but oddly beautiful. You lean your head against spearmaster's shoulder.

"'this is nice. <3'"

A loud noise fires from the sky and a large harpoon immediately skewers spearmaster's chest cavity. Their corpse is hoisted up into the sky by a string.

"'WHAT?!'"

"Eyy, I'm the vulture king and this is our territory. Get lost, buddy."

"'u just killed my boyfriend!'"

"You got a problem with that? Our boss here does what he wants. We rule this canopy."

"'i'll get my revenge!!'"

"Raising your voice, eh?! We'll teach you a lesson you won't forget. You won't forget the wrath of the vulture gang."

"Grab a spear off the ground."

Before you get a chance to react, red balls of spit fly through the air and begin pelting the vultures. They fly backwards, looking shocked. "You vultures think you rule this canopy? Not when I'm around. I'll rip your wings right off your body." The red lizard makes quick chase, and the three vultures decide to make an escape.

"Threaten the red lizard with your spear."

"Woah, wait, that's not necessary. I'm not here to eat you." "i'm used to dealing with red lizards, dont think u can pull anything on me, foul beast!" "No, no, I just wanted to introduce you to my friend. They're kind of shy, but they've been eyeing you from a distance." "uhh... okay??"

"'sure i guess??'"

The red lizard runs off to get their friend like a good wingman.

"'what is even happening right now.'"

"Hello it's... nice to meet you........??" "uh, hey, wats up?" "I, uh... ummm.... I just think you're like.... pretty cute..." "oh. thanks."

"'so, do u come here often?'"

"Hahahaha....... oh yeah.... this is like my hang out spot!" "oh cool, that's pretty neat." "Hahaha!! Yeah!! Oh.... oh my gosh......" "are u okay?" "Ohhh..... i'm just so...... nervous!......" "it's fine, deep breaths, i'm pretty chill, u dont need to be nervous." "Oh woww, that's so understanding of you! I.... love you." "what??" "I mean..... wait.... no I can't say that yet, it's too early right? No.... I always mess this up........"

"Pat the lizard on the head."

Before you get a chance to reach your hand out, a tentacle slaps the back of the lizard and pulls them off the edge of the tower. You hear a faint slurping sound before more tentacles emerge over the edge.

"Panic."

<This situation has gotten out of control. Too much is happening at once. You grab your head as the mass of tentacles moves towards you. "Glooodgldloolldloo-ooololglopglopp!!" "woah, eww, thats not an appropriate thing to say." "Glglglgl-ooooo-loplplplpl!" "this is a family friendly dating sim, u need to watch your mouth."

"Throw your spear at the creature."

It has little effect, and the creature quickly ensares you in its tentacles. You are dragged into its rotten maw where your body is dissolved away.

END

"'wat about me?'"

"Hmm? you need food too?" "no i mean... u can siphon my nutrients... with ur spears..." "WHAT??" "it's ok~" "You want me to stab you? You'll die."

"'please'"

"Man, whatever, I don't have time for this, the rain is going to come soon." Spearmaster takes the spear and chucks it at your torso. It's not a pleasant experience, and you quickly lose consciousness. Your nutrients leave your body.

END

"'i got eggs on the house'"

You pull out your trusty egg that you carry with you all the time. Spearmaster looks it over curiously. "It has a hard shell, so I'm not sure how effective my spears would be at siphoning from it... but I suppose it's worth a shot." You place the egg on the ground and line it up neatly for a clean throw from one of spearmaster's spears. They take aim and throw a direct hit into the egg. It immediately distorts the space around it like a miniature black hole.

"Shield your eyes."

It's bright... extremely bright. But only for a moment. With all its might, Spearmaster's spear sucks the singularity into it, absorbing it as a nutrient. The distortion of space subsides, but spearmaster's spear and attached umbilical begin to glow with a blinding light. "What... is this? I can't absorb it all...!!"

"Reach your hand out to rescue Spearmaster."

Spearmaster struggles for a moment, before their body collapses in on itself. Into a single point of matter smaller than your eye can even perceive. But with it, all other surrounding matter begins to be absorbed into the point as well, in a runaway cascading collapse. You try to run, but you begin to be absorbed into the point almost as fast as you can try to react. Before you know it, your body is spaghettified, and your surroundings go black. Yet, somehow, you are still conscious.

"Observe your surroundings."

Within the expanse of blackness, you soon see an unfamiliar silhouette. Mechanical noises whizz as it slowly pivots its way towards your location. "Little creature. You are my first visitor, but hopefully not the last. I expected I would be visited by one of my own, but I suppose a dimwitted creature like you will suffice."

"'this is pretty unlore, my man.'"

"Shh, there is much work to be done, and I could use a helper. This is just the beginning." You shrug. There's not much else to do in this void, and you don't feel like wasting your brain cells trying to reason around a dating sim story arc. You get to work.

END

>South (Artificer)
To the south, you approach a land of waste and ruins.

The scattered byproducts of bygone eras lie strewn across the landscape

in mounds that resemble artificial hills and mountains.You proceed further.Suddenly in the distance you see a crimson colored slugcat.

She is aggressive and seems to have the ability to create explosions

from her body, and propel herself with the shockwaves.

She is a mother slugcat, who is grieving the loss of her children.

Regardless, she is your only hope of continuing your lineage.

You must choose to approach her carefully, or else she'll flee due to

her being terrified and grief-stricken.Throw the egg at her.You fling the explosive egg at her in an attempt to subdue her.

The egg shatters when it hits the ground, instantly beginning to generate a spacetime singularity.

The other slugcat creates her own explosion, parrying the egg back towards you.

You try to run away, but the shockwave of the explosion slams into you, hurting you severely.

You lie on the floor dying, as the other slugcat looks at you with pity.

She utters a few last words:

"I am sorry, but you should have known better than to mess with a mother slugcat on the hunt."

END

>Sneak up on her.

You remain silent and hidden among the tall blades of grass, slowly approaching the mother slugcat.

Your body is shaking nervously and your eye is twitching.

Your efforts of remaining unseen are in vain; the mother slugcat looks directly at you.

You feel your heart pounding as she stares into your eyes. She lets out a loud hiss,

jumping backwards in an exaggerated fashion. She is scared of you, just as you are of her.

It seems you share a tragic bond; both of you are lonely individuals.

>Keep moving towards her.

You continue moving cautiously, approaching the mother slugcat at a slow pace.

It isn't working; she remains frightened of you.

You try to think of how to calm her, but it seems your efforts are in vain.

She grabs the spear lying on the ground next to her. You watch as she aims it directly at you.

"pls, don't hurt me bb..." You find yourself saying.

Her spear releases, flying straight towards you. You attempt to dodge, but to no avail.

It pierces straight through you, and you fall to the ground.

You have been killed by the mother slugcat.

END

>Blush at her.

You giggle at her exaggerated jump, and blush, and she stares at you angrily.

She begins heading away from you, and despair wells up inside of you.

It's your last chance, and you have to take it now.

>"wait!"

She stops walking, her back still facing you.

Your voice trembles as you speak out to her again, tears running down your face.

She slowly turns around to face you once more.

It seems you have nothing to lose, so you try one last thing to convince her.

>"pls... go out with me??"

(1)She softly smiles, and gives you a kiss on the cheek.

You take her paw in your hand, and look into her eyes.

Behind her, the sun bursts through the clouds,

casting an array of beautiful colors on the landscape.

The rain stops falling, and a rainbow forms overhead.

>Regurgitate a pearl from in your stomach.

You pull the large, round pearl from your stomach, and offer it to her.

Immediately a hundred scavengers emerge at the sight of the pearl, with raised spears.

You back away, and the mother slugcat hisses and spits at them.

The scavengers growl in anger, and begin charging at you both.

The two of you are outnumbered, but you have each other, and that's all you need.

You both stand ready to fight. You and the mother slugcat fight valiantly

against the vicious horde of scavengers, but you are ultimately overcome.

You sacrifice yourself, taking several of the scavengers with you.

She escapes without so much as a scratch, leaving you to die a warrior's death.

END

>"ur cute <3"

You let out the words; the truth that you couldn't hold back.

The mother slugcat turns her head, and begins walking

towards you with a curious expression on her face.

She rubs your head with her paw, and you can feel your heart pounding in your chest.

She hugs you with one of her claws, and you hug back.

>"u dont need to be alone, bby." go to(1)

>"i know what u rly need..."

You say this and she looks at you with curiosity.

"What could you possibly know about me?" she asks.

"ur lonely."

She looks away sadly, and her body begins shaking.

She stumbles backwards, and falls over onto the ground.

With a gasp, she says, "You understand me perfectly."

She begins crying loudly, and you sit by her.

You stroke her face with your long, slimy fingers, and she stops crying.

>"u need children."

She looks at you in confusion, as you explain yourself.

"we could populate this world, make new children."

She growls angrily, and begins to cry again.

"I had children."

She looks at you angrily, and spits in your face.

"They can't be replaced."

She disappears, leaving behind a dust cloud.

"ohh??"

You weep as she leaves, and then you pack your things and leave as well.

>Return to shelter.

The rain is starting to come, and you spent so much time

talking that you forgot to eat. You lay down and accept your fate.

END

>"u need egg."

You take out the egg you've been carrying around, and give it to her.

She accepts it, and her eyes brighten up.

With a smile on her face and the egg in her hands, she sits down.

She places it in her mouth and coats it with a transformative bacteria.

She spits it back out and places it on the ground.

The egg begins to glow in a bright light.

She steps back and stares at it, and the egg begins to transform.

Figures emerge from the light.

>"wat did u just do??"

"MOTHER, WE ARE REBORN."

"WE HAVE REINTRODUCED TO THE EXISTENCE."

"WE ARE A FAMILY NOW."

>". . ."

The new creatures look like the mother slugcat, and she is happy.

She hugs the figures, and they embrace her back.

You feel like you have finally done something right, and you have.

Goodbye loneliness. Goodbye sadness.

Hello family.

>Walk into the light and embrace them.

You walk towards the figures emerging from the light, and they embrace you.

Their slimy bodies feel warm to the touch, and you feel tears escape your eyes.

You have never felt so loved in your life.

You enter the light as a family.

END

>Hand her a rock. (there is technical junk before every text screen but this one was sm5 kaboom i’m not kidding)

You pick up a rock and hand it to the mother slugcat.

She holds it in her hand and stares at it, but doesn't seem to be pleased.

She places it into her mouth, coating it with an explosive substance.

She spits it out, having turned the rock into an explosive.

She holds it in her paws and seems to admire it, and then throws it at you.

It explodes upon impact with you, causing you to fall backwards.

You are dazed and confused as the world spins around you.

You struggle to breathe as the world fades to black.

END

>East (Rivulet)
You travel to the east, to a large expanse of water littered with small islands

and outcroppings of industrial waste and the skeletons of civilizations long forgotten.

When you arrive at this water's edge, you search around for a little while,

and then you find a small cave that you think will make a suitable home for you.

>Enter

You step into the entrance and make yourself comfortable.

However, you begin to hear some noise.

It sounds like someone is moving around and making sounds, but you cannot make

out what it is because the noise is coming from further inside the cave.

You are uneasy and unsure of what to do.

>Call out to them.

A creature suddenly springs out at an alarming speed.

It's another slugcat like you, except blue colored with some kind of strange aquatic gills on their face.

They jump up and down in excitement upon seeing you.

"It's another slugcat! It's another slugcat!" It says, clearly an energetic one.

It continues speaking excitedly.

"Hwah! Another slugcat! Did you come here to scavenge materials too?!"

>"im scavenging for love <3"

Without listening to your response, the gill-slugcat jumps up on top of you.

"Mmwah! You smell so good; you are so, so good!"

"woa, calm down... ur being obnoxious." you reply.

It's not that you have anything against it per se,

but this one just seems to be incredibly excited about you, and that makes you uncomfortable.

"Are you afraid of me?" The blue creature asks.

>”psh, no way, ur nothing”

The gill-slugcat giggles and then suddenly jumps down into a small puddle of water and disappears. The cave becomes very quiet after that. You wonder if they’re coming back or if maybe it didn’t like your answer.

>Chase after them

You decide to jump down into the puddle too, and find out where they went. You slip down into  the frigid water and begin to gasp as the cold water rapidly seeps through your thick skin. You try to look around underwater, but can’t see the other slugcat anywhere. You flail your arms about, and try to tread water, but it is no use. You’re disoriented and lose track of the way back out. It is only a few seconds later before you pass out.

END

>Wait.

After only a few minutes of waiting, you feel and hear an ominous rumbling. The slugcat springs back out of the puddle excitedly, a huge smile on their face. They are trailed by a monstrous mechanical beast larger than you’ve ever seen. You are not smiling. You are scared

>Roll out of the way

You try to move, but the beast is practically as large as the entire interior of the cave. Its mechanical jaw crushes around you like a prison. The other slugcat slips out swiftly with a giggle, while the jaws champ shut and shatter every bone in your body.

END

>”yea a little”

The slugcat suddenly leans forward and whispers in your ear. “That isn’t fear. That’s respect. I like a slug with some fear in their eyes. I like a challenge. You have a challenge for me, don’t you?”

>”uhhh…”

You still do not know what to make of this slugcat. Its body is blue and slimy and you do not feel particularly well about it. You would prefer to have a less hyperactive friend. You notice that it’s watching you very carefully, as if it is waiting for a chance to pounce on you. You cannot help but feel that it is a little too friendly and you are not quite sure why. Perhaps it is just the effect of the creature’s natural exuberance and you are over-thinking it.

>Break the silence.

“umm, i should probably-”

“So, anyway, if you’re looking to date me, you need to meet my mother first.”

“what”

“Sorry, it’s a requirement. Do you want to go see her now?”

“i… well… uh…”

>”no i really gotta be going now…”

The slugcat looks at you quizzically. “You gotta be going now… to go see me mother?”

“no-”

“Yay!! i’m so glad! Let’s go!!”

They pounce on your back, flip over your shoulders, and then grasp your hand firmly. Before you can react, you are being swiftly dragged out of the cave by them.

>”yo, dude, wait!!”   go to (1)

>”yea sure i guess…”

“Yay!! It’s been so long since we had a visitor!” They excitedly run circles around you and then grasp your hand firmly. “Come on, come on, let’s go!!” Before you know it, you’re being swiftly dragged out of the cave by them.

>”woa!!”

(1) You’re rapidly escorted along the surface of the water towards a towering monolith of a structure in the distance. The slugcat does not let up their energy as they take you inside the structure and quickly weave through a maze of interior passages.

>”ur mother lives here??”

“Yeah she’s right in this next room!” You emerge into a large metallic chamber the floors of which are soaked with pools of water. A mechanical device floats around the chamber, gleaming with floating lights. You don’t understand. “huh, where ur mom at??” “What do you mean, she’s right there!” The slugcat excitedly points towards the floating device, then randomly does a backflip.

>”wat do u mean??”

You question everything, was this a trap? Is this even a viable partner? There is no doubt in your mind now that the slugcat must be a construct, a programmed puppet controlled by her mother’s voice. She is not truly alive in any way you can tell. This is simply the next generation of a very old tradition, using a new form of technology as a tool.

>”nice to meet u.”

The device floats over to you. “Oh, how sweet, nice to meet you too!~” It looks towards the other slugcat. “Is this your new friend? I always enjoy having more company.” Their mom seems very polite. You feel a little more comfortable.

“Yea i think were dating now or something?”

“How adorable! A new member of the family! What’s your name?”

>”uh… i don’t have a name…”

“What, how can you not have a name?” Their mom seems astonished.

“It’s fine mom, don’t be weird about it.” The other slugcat interjects.

“No, we need to give them a nickname. How about Sofanthiel?”

“What?? Mom, what kind of name is that? That sounds dumb.”

“Okay, fine, what about Gorbo?”

“Mom, you’re like… the worst at coming up with names??”

“Shhh, Ruffles, I'm trying to think here.”

“I told you not to call me that…”

>”uh, its okay, lets just get back on track…”

(2) Suddenly your stomach starts to rumble. “Okay, forget all of that, you poor thing, you must be starving!” Your partner’s mother orbits around you with concern. “I can’t believe my child didn’t feed you before coming here, they have no manners!” You try to track her position as the robotic arm spirals around frantically. “They’re trying to date and yet don’t even know how to take care of you, for shame!~”

“nah its cool im used to starving…” you shrug.

>”do u have any food tho?”

“All we have at the moment are these marshmallows that Ruffles gathered last time they were out.” You recoil at the food item. It’s not one you’re familiar with, and you’re not sure what to make of it. “You can have some, we have plenty.”

>Eat the glowy food instead

“nah im good ill just take one of these.” You jump up and grab one of the glowy items floating in the air. Almost immediately as you touch it, your partner;s mother lets out a guttural screech, piercing your eardrums. You don’t know what’s happening. You turn quickly to look back at the other slugcat in confusion, but they appear to be screaming as well.

>”uh did i do something wrong?”

“STOP HURTING MY MOM!!” The other slugcat skips across the surface of the water pool at the speed that should not be physically possible. Before you know it their hands are around your throat. They push you down under the water and hold you there. You struggle to get free, but there’s no hope. The glow of the floating food items twinkle above the surface of the water, looking like stars. It’s a beautiful final vision to end your journey on.

END

>”take the marshmallow”

You stick the marshmallow in your mouth, and it is immediately not what you were expecting. While it is soft and chewy like a good slime mold would be, it has an added layer of awful spice. It’s actually so gross. Your entire mouth is on fire. As you swallow, you feel as if acid is running through your insides. You fall to the ground in pain. What did you just eat?! The world around you goes blurry as the fire rages inside. This will be your final meal.

END

>Offer your egg

“Ah, you would like me to read this? It’s a bit dusty, but I will do my best. Hold on…” Their mother begins to explain the properties of the egg to you in excruciating detail.

>”wat?? no don't explain it, make food with it!!”

“Oh, of course! It’s been a while since i’ve cooked a proper meal!” The machine twirls around through the air excitedly. “With this egg we can make a classic, yet somewhat modern Slug Cake!”

“u need more than an egg for that…” you say as you ponder the orbulus egg.

“I can improvise. I’ll have you know that I am a very capable cook!”

>”ok, good luck mom”

She suddenly pauses in the air with the egg.

“Wait a second… this egg?!”

“yea its an egg.”

“This egg is just the right amount of portable.”

“yea eggs tend to be that way.”

“This recipe would be just the right technical implementation.”

“implement this food into my mouth”

“Could this be the solution?!”

>”solution to my hunger, yes.”

She suddenly cracks the egg in half. A forceful suction begins that pulls the machine and all of the floating lights into it. As they collect into a central point, it’s as if all of their lights begin to combine to create an increasingly blinding glow. The suction only grows stronger, pulling the water, rocks and surrounding metal into it. You and your partner are caught up in this and get assimilated as well.

>Open your eyes

In this white void, everything has combined. Your memories remain, but so too have you acquired the memories of your partner and family. Have you found your soulmate, or have you become your soulmate? It seems like one in the same. A perfect, undeniable, shared understanding of each other. A soul combined in unison. This was the state of being you were searching for, you are sure of it.

END

>West (Gourmand)
You travel to the west, towards a very overgrown section of the world.

The world was once filled with many amazing things, and vegetation was one of them.

By traveling to the west, you are searching towards a place that has grown wild with plants and flowers.

As you make your way up a hill, you see a large hefty slugcat, who seems

to have no problem maintaining their diet in this challenging world.

As you watch, you notice that they seem to have the ability to generate

infinite objects by regurgitating them from their stomach.

You approach carefully, unsure of whether to attack or to speak to them.

>Pick up a spear and throw it at them.

The spear flies through the air in an arc and lands in front of the hefty slugcat.

They look at it, and then they look at you. You back up slowly, unsure of what they will do.

They pick up the spear, sniff it, and then throw it at you. You try to duck, but get hit in the leg.

"Ohh! I'm sorry!! I thought you would catch it!" the heavy slugcat says, running towards you.

"what??"

"The spear. I threw it so you would catch it. I didn't mean to hit you."

You stare at them in disbelief.

>Hold your leg in pain.

the slugcat runs towards you, they trip over their own feet and their entire body weight falls on top of you.

You hear a loud crunch as your vision goes black.

"Oh! I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that eith-"

The hefty slugcat is cut off as the egg-like object in your hand explodes, killing you both instantly.

END

>Pick up a rock and throw it at them.

You pick up a small rock and throw it at the hefty slugcat, but it bounces off their fat exterior, completely unfazed.

The hefty slugcat stares at you, narrowing their eyes.

You widen your eyes and begin to sweat profusely, preparing for the hefty slugcat's retaliation.

The hefty slugcat walks towards you, raises a tiny stubby arm, and pokes you in the forehead.

"I wasn't expecting to see someone else out here. You're not from my colony, right?" they ask.

"uh... no? im looking for another slugcat to be my mate, owo" you say.

"Ah, so that's it. I can tell by the way you said it, it's not an easy thing for you to say.

Things have been tough lately, haven't they?"

>"tough? nah im a pro gamer."

The hefty slugcat stares at you, chins wobbling. "You're a pro... gamer?"

You nod. The hefty slugcat stares at you, seemingly in thought.

"A pro gamer, huh? I've never heard that one before. I've heard plenty of others, but that's a new one."

"its true tho." The hefty slugcat stares at you and puts a finger to their chin.

"I'm afraid a liar is all that I see before me. Liars have been known to make the most insane of claims."

Your heart rate increases. You've never been great under pressure.

"lmao, a liar?! nah, check this, they call this a pro gamer move"

You throw your egg by your feet, and prepare to use a gravity manipulation

strat to fling yourself super far with the singularity.

>Perform your frame perfect input.

You pounce to the edge of the singularity's gravity field and

slide cancel backwards into the outer 5% of the shockwave's radius.

You were two pixels off, however, and immediately get sucked into the core of the singularity.

Every atom in your body is jostled as you become extremely dead.

END

>"it's been soo tough!"

"It has? Tell me, have you been hurt at all?" the hefty slugcat asks.

"im just always in danger??"

"Ah. I can respect that. The world we live in is a harsh one, and it's

rare to find someone who can put up with that kind of lifestyle."

Suddenly, three red lizards and a giant red centipede emerge over the hill.

The hefty slugcat looks at them, and a rage fills their eyes.

>"see, this is exactly what im saying!!"

"How can I put this..." the hefty slugcat says, "I think you may be cursed..."

"wat?! im not cursed, im just unlucky!" you say.

"No, like, if there's a such thing as destiny, whoever was responsible for designing your fate legitimately hates you."

"stupid." you say.

"Is it? Tell me, have you had a happy moment in your life?" the hefty slugcat asks.

"no???"

"Exactly. You're destined to suffer, and it's only natural you'd have difficulty finding love."

>"ok thats cool n stuff, but were kinda surrounded..."

The hefty slugcat looks behind you.

You follow their gaze and see that the three red lizards and the giant red centipede have surrounded you.

"Go ahead and fight them. I'm a peace loving slugcat, fighting isn't really my thing," the hefty slugcat says.

You sigh, and turn to face the enemies behind you.

The three lizards hiss and growl, flashing their teeth.

Before you get a chance to do anything, you're covered by their spit, while they quickly maul you to death.

END

>"i'm lonely."

"I hear that. Things have been getting worse for us lately, haven't they?

It's been tough for myself as well," the hefty slugcat says.

"rly? ur huge, and have like... infinity supplies! how u lonely?" you ask.

"I can procure many things from my stomach, but love is not one of them."

The hefty slugcat sighs, and sits near you.

You realize that the ground is wet, but you sit as well.

>Pat them on the back.

You pat the hefty slugcat on the back, extending your arm out as far as it could go.

You feel a slight pain in your arm, but you push through.

"Thanks. I really needed that," the hefty slugcat says, extending their own arm out.

They pat you on the head.

You feel warm and fuzzy. Somehow, you don't feel alone anymore.

>"wat u doing out here rn?"

(1)"Gathering food and supplies for my colony."

"u have a whole colony?"

"Yeah, of course. We're not all loners like you."

"how big we talking??"

"Hm, I'd say about thirty or forty... give or take a few."

"woaaahh!?!"

>"yo, hook me up."

You nervously ask if the hefty slugcat could hook you up with a mate in their colony.

The hefty slugcat lets out a low, rumbling chuckle.

"I doubt any of the slugcats I know would be interested in someone like you.

You're small, scrawny, and have no combat abilities."

"bruh, literally none of the slugcats in your colony could survive the stuff i went through," you say.

"What do you mean, 'the stuff you went through?'"

>"you know, the precycle rain, the miros vultures and red creatures, the rot, the million food pips i needed to fill every cycle, the nacho cheese, the deadly snails, those train lizards, all that wormgrass, whatever the hell that gimmick in chimney was, pebbsi..."

You list the many dangerous things you encountered on your journey to find a mate.

"I don't know what any of that stuff means..."

The hefty slugcat seems even more confused.

"nvm," you say. "ill just find the colony, lol."

You begin to walk away, but the hefty slugcat stops you.

"I can't let you do that. You're an intruder."

"i need to see it! wat if my fated mate is there?? i cant let this go."

The hefty slugcat stares at you with apathy.

"Look, I get that you have needs, and I sympathize. But if you go to our colony, we're gonna have issues."

>Maneuver your way past.

"I'm sorry," the hefty slugcat says.

The heavy slugcat suddenly slides towards you at an incredibly alarming speed.

"wha-"

You don't get to finish your sentence before the hefty slugcat slams into your midsection.

The force of the heavy slugcat's weight smashes you to the ground, and you let out a pained yell.

The hefty slugcat presses down on top of you, and you wince as

the heavy slugcat's immense weight crushes your frail body.

END

>"out of all of them, i want to be with u."

The hefty slugcat looks at you with the strangest look in their eye.

"Are you sure that's what you want?"

"yes... ive never been this sure of anything in my life."

With that, the hefty slugcat smiles.

"Alright then. As long as you're sure about this, let's do it."

You nod your head.

This is the happiest moment of your life.

>Take their hand and go someplace private.

You walk with the hefty slugcat, hand in hand.

You're both nervous and excited.

This is what you've been waiting for.

Once you reach someplace private, they stop and start making a bonfire.

You stare at them, confused.

>"uh, wat you doin?"

"Weren't you inviting me for a private dinner?"

"ohh yea! yeaaaa, of course, hahah!" you say, laughing nervously.

You start coughing excessively, and you stare at them, worried.

"Uh, what should I make for us to eat?"

>"i have this egg??"

You take out the egg from your pouch, and offer it to the hefty slugcat.

They smile, and begin grinning from ear to ear.

"You brought me food?" they say.

"uh...yea! u want it?" you ask nervously.

"Yes! I want it. Give it to me."

They begin heating the egg over the fire, making scrambled eggs.

"How did you know I love eggs?" the hefty slugcat asks, beaming.

You stare at them, still nervous and unsure of what to say.

"uh... idk??"

>You watch them cook.

As the egg cooks, reality itself seems to begin to bend around the resultant food product.

Time seems to warp, and you watch as steam rises as if in slow motion.

It's as if the salt, pepper, and heat of the fire all bend

space and time to reach a primordial state of deliciousness.

You stare at the hefty slugcat with bewilderment, but your mouth can't help but salivate.

With a sudden primal hunger, the other slugcat greedily consumes all of the egg.

Their body begins to glow and levitate, and infinite matter begins to radiate from their mouth.

>You shield your eyes.

The light is blinding. It is as if it has consumed everything.

Out of the singular point of the slugcat's mouth, subatomic particles rain.

They combine into atoms, and then into more complex elements and matter.

Slowly, the light begins to consolidate into a dimmer afterglow.

>You open your eyes.

A cycle has been completed.

A new universe has been born.

You have a lot of work to do.

END

>"u decide, i guess."

"Alright!" they say. "I'll make a feast."

"whatever u want, my luv."

You both sit on some logs around the bonfire, watching it burn.

You watch as they begin to cook more food than you've ever seen.

"are u sure u can eat all that?" you ask.

They begin laughing, and nod their head.

"I'm a really, really big slugcat. I need a lot of food."

You stare at them in amazement.

You've never seen a creature that large move around in such a rapid manner before.

>Start eating the food as it's prepared.

The hefty slugcat sits down next to you, and you begin eating the food they've made.

You fill your stomach up faster than you have in any other cycle before.

The slugcat smiles and hands you more food.

"ah, no thx, im already at max food pips."

"Nonsense, please enjoy my cooking! Don't insult the chef!"

You force yourself to keep eating beyond your limits.

Suddenly, the game crashes with an IndexOutOfRange error in HUD.FoodMeter

END

>"i wanted u."

You take a deep breath, and look into their eyes.

"i want u to be my mate, uwu."

Their eyes widen. The hefty slugcat goes through a list of emotions.

First is shock, then happiness, then fear, then anger...

They fall back and start involuntarily spitting items from their mouth.

>"omg, u okay???"

A bomb drops out of their mouth, and they fumble to try to pick it up.

However, it accidentally detonates.

You close your eyes from the blast, and feel heat on your back.

You disintegrate.

END

>Hold their hand.

You reach your hand out to hold theirs, curious of their reaction.

They look at you with a confused expression, but they grab onto you as well.

"I'm Gourmand," the hefty slugcat says.

"i'm..." you say, before realizing you don't know your name.

"i...uh...forgot my name."

"It's OK. It'll probably come back to you eventually," Gourmand says.

"cool."

>"wat u doing out here rn?" go to(1)

>Give them a hug.

You try to wrap your arms around the hefty slugcat's large exterior, but your arms cannot reach all the way around.

The hefty slugcat laughs and says, "You're cute."

You're not sure how to respond, so you laugh nervously.

The hefty slugcat is just standing there, laughing.

"uh... ur really warm," you say, trying to think of something to say.

"Yeah, I suppose I am," the hefty slugcat says, and begins laughing again.

Neither of you know what to say, so you sit in silence for a while.

>"wat u doing out here rn?"go to(1)

>Greet them.

You cautiously move forward, staying low on the ground.

You approach the large slugcat slowly, unsure of how they will react.

As you get close, you yell hello at them.

The sudden sound of your voice startles them, and they instinctively roll up into a ball.

Then they begin to tumble down the hill towards you. Unsure of what to do, you duck and cover.

This is highly ineffective, and they land directly on top of you.

You feel the air in your lungs forced out by the sheer force of their weight.

Your last thoughts are of how heavy they felt as you die from the collision.

Well done.

END

>Down (Saint)
You descend beneath the ground, to the deepest reaches where the nature of reality distorts, the

fog demons roam, and past civilizations border the void. Surely for someone with your experiences,

this would be the most appropriate location to potentially find a mate to spend your life with.

However, it is not always so.

Once the search begins, one does not always find what they are looking for.

>Explore the void.

The void is a place of instability and decay. It is a place that can't even be

properly defined or accurately described. Rather it is a state of non-conformity

in which everything may be possible, and nothing is certain.

>Look around.

You look around, and you see that you are not alone.

There are other creatures like yourself, scuttling around amongst the rocks.

You hear a sound, like the chomping of jaws.

You need to be careful, as it's very dark here, and predators could be hidden around any corner.

>Investigate the sound.

You cautiously edge around the corner, your eyes peering into the darkness.

You see nothing, but hear the chomping of jaws again.

As if perfectly blended with the darkness, the black mouth of a lizard springs out of the darkness at you.

It is an ambush predator, and you've fallen into the jaws of a carnivorous monster!

There is a fiery pain before the world fades away.

END

>Look behind you.

You turn around to immediately see a large figure behind you.

You're not entirely sure what you're looking at, perhaps a pair of enormous feet?

>Look up.

Your eyes trail further up.

That's a big creature alright.

Are those its muscles? They are very well defined.

You begin to blush a little, but also feel that you are suddenly in very real danger.

>Look all the way up

You look up and see a terrifying face and form,

a monstrous, bestial visage that fills you with unquenchable dread.

You'd recognize that face anywhere.

You try to resist the urge to squeal in delight.

You're their biggest fan.

>Feel the creature's muscles.

The creature grabs you by the neck, lifting you off the ground by your fleshy appendages.

You see a long, sharpened, canine tooth on the upper jaw protrude as the beast opens its mouth to bite you.

The creature is without doubt the largest and most powerful predator you've ever come across.

The way it stands and holds itself suggests an immense amount of strength and stability.

>You blush profusely. go to (1)

>"Can I have your autograph?"

The beast stares at you and begins to move towards you slowly.

It opens its jaws and shrieks, a sound unlike anything you have ever heard before.

You are awestruck by its appearance, and that feeling is only amplified by

the divine presence you feel as its vocals resonate through your chest.

It slams its large black talons upon you, pinning your body to the floor.

>You blush profusely. go to (1)

>Interview the creature.

"g-golden lizard... aah... from echo..."

You attempt to formulate a proper sentence, but find that you are too terrified to even speak.

The beast does something that causes your mouth to gape open and your eyes to widen in terror.

The creature steps forward and looks down on you with malice in its eyes.

You feel a tremendous pressure as the creature's horrible visage is applied to yours.

You are powerless.

>You blush profusely. go to (1)

(1)There is a quick flash of light accompanied by a loud pang that rings in your ears.

The large creature suddenly goes limp and collapses to the ground.

That's impossible.

It should be invincible.

>You feel a presence.

"Hello. Was that guy bothering you?"

A green colored slugcat floats down from the sky in front of you.

It has an aura of tranquility around it, yet some part of your mind

feels some instinctive primal fear from its very being.

The slugcat has an extremely long tongue, quite a bit different

from any other slugcat you've encountered before.

In any case, this is the first of your species you've encountered here and could be an eligible mate.

>"thx, u r my hero"

You reply to the slugcat in your best courting tone,

hoping to impress upon it the seriousness of the situation you are in.

However you have no reaction from the slugcat.

Instead you receive a feeling of trepidation from it, as if it knows something you don't.

This causes you to have second thoughts about making a move.

>"hey, u good?"

You question the slugcat's response to you. You're just not feeling the vibes, and want to make sure

you're on the same wavelengths with your potential mate. You try to reassure the slugcat.

"yo, something must be wrong wit my eyes, cause i cant take them off u~"

"Are you trying to imply something?" the slugcat asks, looking a bit annoyed.

"uh yea, u picking up what im throwin down?"

"Yeah, you're making fun of my eyes?"

"wat... no?!"

>Throw down another one.

ok look... r u a time traveler, cause I see u in my future~!" you say, while striking a pose.

"Yes." The slugcat replies with a straight face.

"wat?"

"Yes, I am a time traveler. We all are. We follow the cycle."

"ok...?"

>"look dude, i just want to go out with u"

"Oh."

The slugcat pauses for a few seconds, looking disappointed in you.

"In that case, no. I will not go out with you."

"why?!!"

"I'm not interested in relationships. I have higher priorities."

The slugcat looks away, as if trying to find a way to exit this interaction as soon as possible.

>Give up.

You accept this reasoning.

No need to force the issue further, you can find another mate elsewhere.

You wave goodbye to the slugcat, and it takes flight off to who knows where.

However, you're also very close the void sea.

Perhaps you should just take the dive and procrastinate on worrying

about relationships until after you've stripped your mortal coil.

>Head to the void sea.

You begin the trip through the depths, deep into the subterranean caverns, nearing the bottom of the world.

You descend further and further down. However, as you reach one room before the void sea,

an invisible void worm clips through the wall and shatters every bone in your body.

What the hell.

I thought that glitch was fixed a while ago...

END

>Don't let up.

This slugcat doesn't know what it's talking about.

What higher priority could there possibly be than you?

Being your mate is the only priority that matters, you just need to make the slugcat realize their mistake.

"well, im not leavin here without a mate, and ur not leaving here without one either!"

You stand your ground. However, the ground doesn't help you much, as the

other slugcat simply takes flight into the air and swiftly leaves.

>Make chase.

You turn to chase after the slugcat, but are interrupted as you hear the loud pang sound again.

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