Dating Sim/Dialogue

This page covers all the dialogue for ???'s Dating Sim. To see other stuff about ???, see.

=Dialogue=

You have been through hell and back, but now, it's time to atone for your sins in your past cycles.

You must find a mate, or die.

Which direction do you head?

>North (Spearmaster)
You trek to the north, towards a land of towering structures that pierce the heavens. You traverse the rocky, hilly fields, as you avoid the large predators that roam this area.

It is here where you hope to find a mate, if they even exist in this strange place...

You spot a strange slugcat climbing one of the towers, unlike any you've seen before.

It has no mouth with which to eat or speak with, and is able to generate spiky bone-like protrusions from its tail.

It does not react when it notices you, giving you a good view of it. Fascinating.

Do you approach it, to see if it is your compatible either as a mate or a food resource?

(North)>No.
You decide to wait and watch it some more, as you're not too sure what to make of the creature. It simply sits there and continues to generate more and more spikes out of its tail, building an arsenal of weaponry. It must be preparing for a big hunt. A true survivor. You can't help but be impressed.

(Grab some spears to assist it in the hunt.)

This slugcat could be your hunting buddy! You go to grab a spear off the ground, but as soon as your hand touches it, the slugcat finally reacts to your presence. They unload their arsenal on you, raining down spears at lightning speed. You can't dodge them all, and quickly succumb to your injuries.

END

(North)>Yes.
You approach the strange slugcat cautiously, watching it as it climbs to the top of the tower. You're not sure what it is doing, but you hope that it is another slugcat.

Maybe you could have a conversation or whatever slugcats do.

You call out to it, but it doesn't react. Perhaps it is deaf, or cannot hear you.

You begin to wave your hands in an effort to get its attention.

(Throw a rock at it.)

The rock hits their head, and they stare back at you with annoyance.

"Can't you tell I'm trying to ignore you? I already had to suffer through being the protagonist of the first More Slugcats dating sim, please don't drag me into this again."

You don't really follow the conversation and only stare back in confusion.

("wat... ?")

The other slugcat rubs their fingers into their forehead in frustration.

"Who even decided to make another one of these? All this time people have been waiting for More Slugcats to release... what will they think when they learn that three-and-a-half years of the entire development time was spent solely on developing this dating sim? Look, just come over here and kiss me already and let's get this over with."

("kiss u?? but you don't have a mouth...")

"I used to have mouth! Back in the first More Slugcats version. I used to be able to swallow and regurgitate spears... isn't that romantic?"

You blush. "yea... that is certainly something~ ///"

"But now look how they nerfed me! Unbelievable!!"

Spearmaster abruptly stabs a spear deep into the wall with a tremendous amount of force. It's a bit terrifying.

("how r u even talking to me rn?")

"What?? Oh... I don't need a mouth for that. I vocalize out of my tail."

You stare at the holes on their tail both fascinated and repulsed by their questionable biology.

(North>Yes)>Approach the tail.
You lean your mouth towards their tail and they immediately jump back.

"Eww, what do you think you're trying to do?"

You continue after them until they're backed into the edge of the platform.

(Go for the kill.)

As you approach, sharp needles suddenly erupt out of every hole in their tail, piercing through your body in multiple places. You die pretty much immediately.

END

((North>Yes)>Share their frustration.)
"i kinda get wat it feels like to be nerfed, tbh..."

You pat spearmaster on the shoulder.

"i gotta eat soo much food to hibernate, its just dumb. they even removed me from arena mode, wth??!"

"Yeah, I guess you have it rough as well. These developers hate us."

Spearmaster looks at you with deep understanding.

"Honestly I heard a rumor they were going to remove me from the game entirely. Absolutely sadistic."

(Give spearmaster a hug.)

"it's ok, we slugcats need to stick together. ilu bby <3"

You wipe the tears out of Spearmaster's eyes.

"Thank you, I needed to hear that." Spearmaster says.

"... But speaking of nerfed, I'm hungry and I need to find nutrients to siphon with my spears."

Spearmaster generates a fresh spear out of their tail and looks at it with admiration.

(North>yes>"let's go search for food">)

You and spearmaster climb to the roof of the tower in search of food.

You overlook the canopies of structures out in the distance.

The view is industrial, but oddly beautiful.

You lean your head against spearmaster's shoulder.

("this is nice. <3")

A loud noise fires from the sky and a large harpoon immediately skewers spearmaster's chest cavity.

Their corpse is hoisted up into the sky by a string.

("WHAT?!")

"Eyy, I'm the vulture king and this is our territory. Get lost, buddy."

("u just killed my boyfriend!")

"You got a problem with that? Our boss here does what he wants. We rule this canopy."

("i'll get my revenge!!")

"Raising your voice, eh?! We'll teach you a lesson you won't forget.

You won't forget the wrath of the vulture gang."

(Grab a spear off the ground.)

Before you get a chance to react, red balls of spit fly through the

air and begin pelting the vultures. They fly backwards, looking shocked.

"You vultures think you rule this canopy? Not when I'm around.

I'll rip your wings right off your body."

The red lizard makes quick chase, and the three vultures decide to make an escape.

(Threaten the red lizard with your spear.)

"Woah, wait, that's not necessary. I'm not here to eat you."

"i'm used to dealing with red lizards, dont think u can pull anything on me, foul beast!"

"No, no, I just wanted to introduce you to my friend.

They're kind of shy, but they've been eyeing you from a distance."

"uhh... okay??"

("sure i guess??")

The red lizard runs off to get their friend like a good wingman.

("what is even happening right now.")

"Hello it's... nice to meet you........??"

"uh, hey, wats up?"

"I, uh... ummm.... I just think you're like.... pretty cute..."

"oh. thanks."

("so, do u come here often?")

"Hahahaha....... oh yeah.... this is like my hang out spot!"

"oh cool, that's pretty neat."

"Hahaha!! Yeah!! Oh.... oh my gosh......"

"are u okay?"

"Ohhh..... i'm just so...... nervous!......"

"it's fine, deep breaths, i'm pretty chill, u dont need to be nervous."

"Oh woww, that's so understanding of you! I.... love you."

"what??"

"I mean..... wait.... no I can't say that yet, it's too early right? No.... I always mess this up........"

(Pat the lizard on the head.)

Before you get a chance to reach your hand out, a tentacle slaps the back of

the lizard and pulls them off the edge of the tower. You hear a faint slurping

sound before more tentacles emerge over the edge.

(Panic.)

This situation has gotten out of control. Too much is happening at once.

You grab your head as the mass of tentacles moves towards you.

"Glooodgldloolldloo-ooololglopglopp!!"

"woah, eww, thats not an appropriate thing to say."

"Glglglgl-ooooo-loplplplpl!"

"this is a family friendly dating sim, u need to watch your mouth."

(Throw your spear at the creature.)

It has little effect, and the creature quickly ensares you in its tentacles.

You are dragged into its rotten maw where your body is dissolved away.

END

>East (Rivulet & Looks to the Moon)
You travel to the east, to a large expanse of water littered with small islands and outcroppings of industrial waste and the skeletons of civilizations long forgotten. When you arrive at this water's edge, you search around for a little while, and then you find a small cave that you think will make a suitable home for you.

(Enter.)

You step into the entrance and make yourself comfortable.

However, you begin to hear some noise.

It sounds like someone is moving around and making sounds, but you cannot make out what it is because the noise is coming from further inside the cave.

You are uneasy and unsure of what to do.

(Call out to them.)

A creature suddenly springs out at an alarming speed.

It's another slugcat like you, except blue colored with some kind of strange aquatic gills on their face.

They jump up and down in excitement upon seeing you.

"It's another slugcat! It's another slugcat!" It says, clearly an energetic one.

It continues speaking excitedly.

"Hwah! Another slugcat! Did you come here to scavenge materials too?!"

("im scavenging for love <3")

Without listening to your response, the gill-slugcat jumps up on top of you.

"Mmwah! You smell so good; you are so, so good!"

"woa, calm down... ur being obnoxious." you reply.

It's not that you have anything against it per se, but this one just seems to be incredibly excited about you, and that makes you uncomfortable.

"Are you afraid of me?" The blue creature asks.

(East)>"psh, no way, ur nothing"
The gill-slugcat giggles and then suddenly jumps down into a small puddle of water and disappears.

The cave becomes very quiet after that.

You wonder if they're coming back or if maybe it didn't like your answer.

(East>"psh, no way, ur nothing")>Chase after them
You decide to jump down into the puddle too, and find out where they went.

You slip down into the frigid water and begin to gasp as the cold water rapidly seeps through your thick skin.

You try to look around underwater, but you can't see the other slugcat anywhere.

You flail your arms about, and try to tread water, but it is no use.

You're disoriented and lose track of the way back out.

It is only a few seconds later before you pass out.

END

(East>"psh, no way, ur nothing")>Wait.
After only a few minutes of waiting, you feel and hear an ominous rumbling.

The slugcat springs back out of the puddle excitedly, a huge smile on their face.

They are trailed by a monstrous mechanical beast larger than you've ever seen.

You are not smiling.

You are scared.

(Roll out of the way)

You try to move, but the beast is practically as large as the entire interior of the cave.

Its mechanical jaw crushes around you like a prison.

The other slugcat slips out swiftly with a giggle,

while the jaws clamp shut and shatter every bone in your body.

END

Artificer
(insert dialogue for Artificer branch)

Gourmand
● You travel to the west, towards a very overgrown section of the world. The world was once filled with many amazing things, and vegetation was one of them. Travelling to the west, you are searching towards a place that has grown wild with plants and flowers. As you make your way up a hill, you see a large hefty slugcat, who seems to have no problem maintaining their diet in this challenging world. As you watch, you notice that they seem to have the ability to generate infinite objects by regurgitating them from their stomach. You approach carefully, unsure of whether to attack or to speak to them.

● Pick up a spear and throw it at them.

● Pick up a rock and throw it at them.

● Greet them.

>Down (Saint)
You descend beneath the ground, to the deepest reaches where the nature of reality distorts, the fog demons roam, and past civilizations border the void. Surely for someone with your experiences, this would be the most appropriate location to potentially find a mate to spend your life with. However, it is not always so. Once the search begins, one does not always find what they are looking for.

(Explore the void. )

The void is a place of instability and decay. It is a place that can't even be properly defined or accurately described. Rather it is a state of non-conformity in which everything may be possible, and nothing is certain.

(Look around.)

You look around, and you see that you are not alone. There are other creatures like yourself, scuttling around amongst the rocks. You hear a sound, like the chomping of jaws. You need to be careful, as it's very dark here, and predators could be hidden around any corner.

>Down>Explore the void.>Look around.>Investigate the sound.)

You cautiously edge around the corner, your eyes peering into the darkness. You see nothing, but hear the chomping of jaws again. As if perfectly blended with the darkness, the black mouth of a lizard springs out of the darkness at you. It is an ambush predator, and you've fallen into the jaws of a carnivorous monster! There is a fiery pain before the world fades away.

END

>Down>Explore the void.>Look around.>Look behind you.)

You turn around to immediately see a large figure behind you. You're not entirely sure what you're looking at, perhaps a pair of enormous feet?

(Look up.)

our eyes trail further up. That's a big creature alright. Are those its muscles? They are very well defined. You begin to blush a little, but also feel that you are suddenly in very real danger.

(Look all the way up.)

You look up and see a terrifying face and form, a monstrous, bestial visage that fills you with unquenchable dread. You'd recognize that face anywhere. You try to resist the urge to squeal in delight. You're their biggest fan.

(>Down>Explore the void.>Look around.>Look behind you.>Look up.>Look all the way up.>Feel the creature's muscles.)

The creature grabs you by the neck, lifting you off the ground by your fleshy appendages. You see a long, sharpened, canine tooth on the upper jaw protrude as the beast opens its mouth to bite you. The creature is without doubt the largest and most powerful predator you've ever come across. The way it stands and holds itself suggests an immense amount of strength and stability.

(You blush profusely.)

There is a quick flash of light accompanied by a loud pang that rings in your ears. The large creature suddenly goes limp and collapses to the ground. That's impossible. It should be invincible.

(You feel a presence.)

"Hello. Was that guy bothering you?" A green colored slugcat floats down from the sky in front of you. It has an aura of tranquility around it, yet some part of your mind feels some instinctive primal fear from its very being. The slugcat has an extremely long tongue, quite a bit different from any other slugcat you've encountered before. In any case, this is the first of your species you've encountered here and could be an eligible mate.

(>Down>Explore the void.>Look around.>Look behind you.>Look up.>Look all the way up.>Feel the creature's muscles.>You blush profusely.>You feel a presence.>"thx, u r my hero")

You reply to the slugcat in your best courting tone, hoping to impress upon it the seriousness of the situation you are in. However you have no reaction from the slugcat. Instead you receive a feeling of trepidation from it, as if it knows something you don't. This causes you to have second thoughts about making a move.

("hey, u good?")

You question the slugcat's response to you. You're just not feeling the vibes, and want to make sure you're on the same wavelengths with your potential mate. You try to reassure the slugcat. "yo, something must be wrong wit my eyes, cause i cant take them off u~" "Are you trying to imply something?" the slugcat asks, looking a bit annoyed. "uh yea, u picking up what im throwin down?" "Yeah, you're making fun of my eyes?" "wat... no?!"

(Throw down another one.)

"ok look... r u a time traveler, cause I see u in my future~!" you say, while striking a pose. "Yes." The slugcat replies with a straight face. "wat?" "Yes, I am a time traveler. We all are. We follow the cycle." "ok...?"

("look dude, i just want to go out with u")

"Oh." The slugcat pauses for a few seconds, looking disappointed in you. "In that case, no. I will not go out with you." "why?!!" "I'm not interested in relationships. I have higher priorities." The slugcat looks away, as if trying to find a way to exit this interaction as soon as possible.

(>Down>Explore the void.>Look around.>Look behind you.>Look up.>Look all the way up.>Feel the creature's muscles.>You blush profusely.>You feel a presence.>"thx, u r my hero">"hey, u good?">Throw down another one.>"look dude, i just want to go out with u">Give up.)

You accept this reasoning. No need to force the issue further, you can find another mate elsewhere. You wave goodbye to the slugcat, and it takes flight off to who knows where. However, you're also very close the void sea. Perhaps you should just take the dive and procrastinate on worrying about relationships until after you've stripped your mortal coil.

(Head to the void sea.)

You begin the trip through the depths, deep into the subterranean caverns, nearing the bottom of the world. You descend further and further down. However, as you reach one room before the void sea, an invisible void worm clips through the wall and shatters every bone in your body. What the hell. I thought that glitch was fixed a while ago...

END

(>Down>Explore the void.>Look around.>Look behind you.>Look up.>Look all the way up.>Feel the creature's muscles.>You blush profusely.>You feel a presence.>"thx, u r my hero">"hey, u good?">Throw down another one.>"look dude, i just want to go out with u">Don't let up.)

This slugcat doesn't know what it's talking about. What higher priority could there possibly be than you? Being your mate is the only priority that matters, you just need to make the slugcat realize their mistake. "well, im not leavin here without a mate, and ur not leaving here without one either!" You stand your ground. However, the ground doesn't help you much, as the other slugcat simply takes flight into the air and swiftly leaves.

(Make chase.)

You turn to chase after the slugcat, but are interrupted as you hear the loud pang sound again. Or, at least you would have heard it if the neural synapses between your brain and your ears weren't shattered in the same instant. Instead you hear nothing, for you have ascended.

(END)

(>Down>Explore the void.>Look around.>Look behind you.>Look up.>Look all the way up.>Feel the creature's muscles.>You blush profusely.>You feel a presence.>"thx, u r my hero">"hey, u good?">Throw down another one.>"look dude, i just want to go out with u">Offer a gift.)

"ok, ok... hold up, before u give up on me..." The slugcat looks disinterested in whatever reasoning you might be about to give. "i got u a gift, look!!" You hand the slugcat your egg. Maybe this offering will help win them over. To your surprise, their expression immediately changes. "Where did you find that? You'd give this to me?"

("i'll give it if u go out with me~")

"Done. I would marry you in exchange for this." The slugcat swiftly reaches for the egg. "huh?! lets not go that far yet..." "Do you have any idea what this is?" The slugcat takes the gift and admires it deeply. "it egg." "Yes. This will finally solve everything." Their fur stands up on end.

("ok honeybuns, do wat u have to do, i love u~")

(>Down>Explore the void.>Look around.>Look behind you.>Look up.>Look all the way up.>Feel the creature's muscles.>You blush profusely.>You feel a presence.>"ur looking fine")

"Thanks, I just got a haircut. My fur was getting pretty long." They look you over, from head to toe. It doesn't seem to be particularly flirtatious, more a method of thorough inspection. You become self-conscious about your many flaws.

("haha, yea, me too")

Fur? Since when did members of your species have fur? You can't recall ever getting a "haircut" in your entire life. They're seeming more and more foreign to you. Could they really be an eligible mate? And why did you respond with "me too?" You've been too anxious about this encounter to really think about what you're saying.

(Pet the slugcat)

Curiosity gets the best of you, and you reach out to feel their skin. Is it the same as yours? What would this residual "fur" even feel like? However, they immediately jump back. "Well, you're certainly very interesting, but maybe it's not such a good idea for us to meet right now. I best get going." You didn't mean to make them uncomfortable...

("hol up...")

Before you get a chance to say any more, they shoot their tongue towards the ceiling, and begin swinging away into the distance. What a strange specimen. Unfortunately, now you're just alone again.

(Stumble around in the darkness)

It would help if you had a lightsource, but you do not. As you stumble around, you feel something tickle up against your skin. That something turns into many things, before suddenly two large fangs sink into the back of your neck. Your corpse is dragged away by a large spider as it returns to its burrow.

END

(>Down>Explore the void.>Look around.>Look behind you.>Look up.>Look all the way up.>Feel the creature's muscles.>You blush profusely.>You feel a presence.>"wow, pls lick me")

The slugcat gives you a strange look, but then complies. Their tongue launches at you slapping you across the cheek. As it retracts, the stickiness of it pulls you forwards causing you to faceplant onto the floor. That was less romantic than you thought it would be. Actually quite insulting.

(Lay there in embarassment.)

You lay faceplanted on the floor feeling kind of dumb. You roll over onto your side expecting to see them laughing at you. Instead you see the slugcat casually floating over to take your egg. "woah woah, wat do u think ur doing there??!" They ignore you and continue towards the egg.

("hey dont touch that!!")

They finally stop their pursuit and turn to look at you. "Why?" They ask with an expressionless look. "trust me it wont taste good." "Oh, I wasn't going to eat it. Plus, I'm more of a taco guy myself." They give the slightest impression of a grin, then turn back towards the egg.

(>Down>Explore the void.>Look around.>Look behind you.>Look up.>Look all the way up.>Feel the creature's muscles.>You blush profusely.>You feel a presence.>"wow, pls lick me">Lay there in embarassment.>"hey dont touch that!!">Wait and observe.)

You know what you'd do with the egg, but part of you is curious to see what other uses this egg might have. Does this slugcat know something that you don't? You sit back and watch. "wat r u going to do with it then?" "I don't know how this got in your possession, but I've been looking for this for a long time." "cool, but wat u need it for?" "This will finally solve everything." The slugcat's fur stands up on end. "ok..."

("sure dude, u can borrow it for a bit...")

The slugcat settles the egg on the ground and stares at it with determination. "Let me take care of this. It'll all be over soon." They enter into a deep concentration, and begin to levitate slightly above the ground. A bright X-shaped light forms above their head, and then begins to travel towards the egg. As the light settles over the egg, it begins to grow increasingly brighter. Then in a quick culmination, the light is met with a deafening pang as it ruptures the egg.

(Cover your ears.)

(>Down>Explore the void.>Look around.>Look behind you.>Look up.>Look all the way up.>Feel the creature's muscles.>You blush profusely.>You feel a presence.>"wow, pls lick me">Lay there in embarassment.>"hey dont touch that!!">Take the egg back.)

You sprint towards the slugcat to grab the egg before it does. That's all yours. You're not going to let this random dude touch your precious cargo. Who do they think they are?

("that's mine, give it back!!")

The slugcat leisurely turns their head back towards you and launches their tongue at you again. It sticks firmly onto your torso and you feel a harsh tug as the tongue pulls back. It swiftly drags you across the ground, finally releasing its stick on you to fling you off the edge of a cliff. You fall into the darkness below. As you lay, struggling to move your body, a black lizard slips out of a nearby pipe and makes quick work of you in your defenseless state.

END

(>Down>Explore the void.>Look around.>Look behind you.>Look up.>Look all the way up.>"Can I have your autograph?")

The beast stares at you and begins to move towards you slowly. It opens its jaws and shrieks, a sound unlike anything you have ever heard before. You are awestruck by its appearance, and that feeling is only amplified by the divine presence you feel as its vocals resonate through your chest. It slams its large black talons upon you, pinning your body to the floor.

(You blush profusely.)

(>Down>Explore the void.>Look around.>Look behind you.>Look up.>Look all the way up.>Interview the creature.)

"g-golden lizard... aah... from echo..." You attempt to formulate a proper sentence, but find that you are too terrified to even speak. The beast does something that causes your mouth to gape open and your eyes to widen in terror. The creature steps forward and looks down on you with malice in its eyes. You feel a tremendous pressure as the creature's horrible visage is applied to yours. You are powerless.

(You blush profusely.)

=Trivia=
 * please fill this out