Dating Sim/Dialogue

This page covers all the dialogue for ???'s Dating Sim. To see other stuff about ???, see.



=Dialogue=

You have been through hell and back, but now, it's time to atone for your sins in your past cycles.

You must find a mate, or die.

Which direction do you head?

>North (Spearmaster)
You trek to the north, towards a land of towering structures that pierce the heavens. You traverse the rocky, hilly fields, as you avoid the large predators that roam this area. It is here where you hope to find a mate, if they even exist in this strange place... You spot a strange slugcat climbing one of the towers, unlike any you've seen before. It has no mouth with which to eat or speak with, and is able to generate spiky bone-like protrusions from its tail. It does not react when it notices you, giving you a good view of it. Fascinating. Do you approach it, to see if it is your compatible either as a mate or a food resource? No You decide to wait and watch it some more, as you're not too sure what to make of the creature. It simply sits there and continues to generate more and more spikes out of its tail, building an arsenal of weaponry. It must be preparing for a big hunt. A true survivor. You can't help but be impressed.

Grab some spears to assist it in the hunt.

This slugcat could be your hunting buddy! You go to grab a spear off the ground, but as soon as your hand touches it, the slugcat finally reacts to your presence. They unload their arsenal on you, raining down spears at lightning speed. You can't dodge them all, and quickly succumb to your injuries.

END

Yes You approach the strange slugcat cautiously, watching it as it climbs to the top of the tower. You're not sure what it is doing, but you hope that it is another slugcat. Maybe you could have a conversation or whatever slugcats do. You call out to it, but it doesn't react. Perhaps it is deaf, or cannot hear you. You begin to wave your hands in an effort to get its attention.

"Throw a rock at it."

The rock hits their head, and they stare back at you with annoyance. "Can't you tell I'm trying to ignore you? I already had to suffer through being the protagonist of the first More Slugcats dating sim, please don't drag me into this again." You don't really follow the conversation and only stare back in confusion.

"'wat...?'"

The other slugcat rubs their fingers into their forehead in frustration. "Who even decided to make another one of these? All this time people have been waiting for More Slugcats to release... what will they think when they learn that three-and-a-half years of the entire development time was spent solely on developing this dating sim? Look, just come over here and kiss me already and let's get this over with."

"'kiss u?? but you don't have a mouth...'"

"I used to have mouth! Back in the first More Slugcats version. I used to be able to swallow and regurgitate spears... isn't that romantic?" You blush. "yea... that is certainly something~ ///" "But now look how they nerfed me! Unbelievable!!" Spearmaster abruptly stabs a spear deep into the wall with a tremendous amount of force. It's a bit terrifying.

"'how r u even talking to me rn?'"

"What?? Oh... I don't need a mouth for that. I vocalize out of my tail." You stare at the holes on their tail both fascinated and repulsed by their questionable biology.

"Approach the tail."

You lean your mouth towards their tail and they immediately jump back. "Eww, what do you think you're trying to do?" You continue after them until they're backed into the edge of the platform.

"Go for the kill."

As you approach, sharp needles suddenly erupt out of every hole in their tail, piercing through your body in multiple places. You die pretty much immediately.

END

"Share in their frustration."

"i kinda get wat it feels like to be nerfed, tbh..." You pat spearmaster on the shoulder. "i gotta eat soo much food to hibernate, its just dumb. they even removed me from arena mode, wth??!" "Yeah, I guess you have it rough as well. These developers hate us." Spearmaster looks at you with deep understanding. "Honestly I heard a rumor they were going to remove me from the game entirely. Absolutely sadistic."

"Give spearmaster a hug."

"it's ok, we slugcats need to stick together. ilu bby <3" You wipe the tears out of Spearmaster's eyes. "Thank you, I needed to hear that." Spearmaster says. "... But speaking of nerfed, I'm hungry and I need to find nutrients to siphon with my spears." Spearmaster generates a fresh spear out of their tail and looks at it with admiration.

"'let's go search for food'"

You and spearmaster climb to the roof of the tower in search of food. You overlook the canopies of structures out in the distance. The view is industrial, but oddly beautiful. You lean your head against spearmaster's shoulder.

"'this is nice. <3'"

A loud noise fires from the sky and a large harpoon immediately skewers spearmaster's chest cavity. Their corpse is hoisted up into the sky by a string.

"'WHAT?!'"

"Eyy, I'm the vulture king and this is our territory. Get lost, buddy."

"'u just killed my boyfriend!'"

"You got a problem with that? Our boss here does what he wants. We rule this canopy."

"'i'll get my revenge!!'"

"Raising your voice, eh?! We'll teach you a lesson you won't forget. You won't forget the wrath of the vulture gang."

"Grab a spear off the ground."

Before you get a chance to react, red balls of spit fly through the air and begin pelting the vultures. They fly backwards, looking shocked. "You vultures think you rule this canopy? Not when I'm around. I'll rip your wings right off your body." The red lizard makes quick chase, and the three vultures decide to make an escape.

"Threaten the red lizard with your spear."

"Woah, wait, that's not necessary. I'm not here to eat you." "i'm used to dealing with red lizards, dont think u can pull anything on me, foul beast!" "No, no, I just wanted to introduce you to my friend. They're kind of shy, but they've been eyeing you from a distance." "uhh... okay??"

"'sure i guess??'"

The red lizard runs off to get their friend like a good wingman.

"'what is even happening right now.'"

"Hello it's... nice to meet you........??" "uh, hey, wats up?" "I, uh... ummm.... I just think you're like.... pretty cute..." "oh. thanks."

"'so, do u come here often?'"

"Hahahaha....... oh yeah.... this is like my hang out spot!" "oh cool, that's pretty neat." "Hahaha!! Yeah!! Oh.... oh my gosh......" "are u okay?" "Ohhh..... i'm just so...... nervous!......" "it's fine, deep breaths, i'm pretty chill, u dont need to be nervous." "Oh woww, that's so understanding of you! I.... love you." "what??" "I mean..... wait.... no I can't say that yet, it's too early right? No.... I always mess this up........"

"Pat the lizard on the head."

Before you get a chance to reach your hand out, a tentacle slaps the back of the lizard and pulls them off the edge of the tower. You hear a faint slurping sound before more tentacles emerge over the edge.

"Panic."

<This situation has gotten out of control. Too much is happening at once. You grab your head as the mass of tentacles moves towards you. "Glooodgldloolldloo-ooololglopglopp!!" "woah, eww, thats not an appropriate thing to say." "Glglglgl-ooooo-loplplplpl!" "this is a family friendly dating sim, u need to watch your mouth."

"Throw your spear at the creature."

It has little effect, and the creature quickly ensares you in its tentacles. You are dragged into its rotten maw where your body is dissolved away.

END

"'wat about me?'"

"Hmm? you need food too?" "no i mean... u can siphon my nutrients... with ur spears..." "WHAT??" "it's ok~" "You want me to stab you? You'll die."

"'please'"

"Man, whatever, I don't have time for this, the rain is going to come soon." Spearmaster takes the spear and chucks it at your torso. It's not a pleasant experience, and you quickly lose consciousness. Your nutrients leave your body.

END

"'i got eggs on the house'"

You pull out your trusty egg that you carry with you all the time. Spearmaster looks it over curiously. "It has a hard shell, so I'm not sure how effective my spears would be at siphoning from it... but I suppose it's worth a shot." You place the egg on the ground and line it up neatly for a clean throw from one of spearmaster's spears. They take aim and throw a direct hit into the egg. It immediately distorts the space around it like a miniature black hole.

"Shield your eyes."

It's bright... extremely bright. But only for a moment. With all its might, Spearmaster's spear sucks the singularity into it, absorbing it as a nutrient. The distortion of space subsides, but spearmaster's spear and attached umbilical begin to glow with a blinding light. "What... is this? I can't absorb it all...!!"

"Reach your hand out to rescue Spearmaster."

Spearmaster struggles for a moment, before their body collapses in on itself. Into a single point of matter smaller than your eye can even perceive. But with it, all other surrounding matter begins to be absorbed into the point as well, in a runaway cascading collapse. You try to run, but you begin to be absorbed into the point almost as fast as you can try to react. Before you know it, your body is spaghettified, and your surroundings go black. Yet, somehow, you are still conscious.

"Observe your surroundings."

Within the expanse of blackness, you soon see an unfamiliar silhouette. Mechanical noises whizz as it slowly pivots its way towards your location. "Little creature. You are my first visitor, but hopefully not the last. I expected I would be visited by one of my own, but I suppose a dimwitted creature like you will suffice."

"'this is pretty unlore, my man.'"

"Shh, there is much work to be done, and I could use a helper. This is just the beginning." You shrug. There's not much else to do in this void, and you don't feel like wasting your brain cells trying to reason around a dating sim story arc. You get to work.

END

>South (Artificer)
To the south, you approach a land of waste and ruins.

The scattered byproducts of bygone eras lie strewn across the landscape

in mounds that resemble artificial hills and mountains.

>You proceed further.

Suddenly in the distance you see a crimson colored slugcat.

She is aggressive and seems to have the ability to create explosions

from her body, and propel herself with the shockwaves.

She is a mother slugcat, who is grieving the loss of her children.

Regardless, she is your only hope of continuing your lineage.

You must choose to approach her carefully, or else she'll flee due to

her being terrified and grief-stricken.

>East (Rivulet)
You travel to the east, to a large expanse of water littered with small islands

and outcroppings of industrial waste and the skeletons of civilizations long forgotten.

When you arrive at this water's edge, you search around for a little while,

and then you find a small cave that you think will make a suitable home for you.

>Enter

You step into the entrance and make yourself comfortable.

However, you begin to hear some noise.

It sounds like someone is moving around and making sounds, but you cannot make

out what it is because the noise is coming from further inside the cave.

You are uneasy and unsure of what to do.

>Call out to them.

A creature suddenly springs out at an alarming speed.

It's another slugcat like you, except blue colored with some kind of strange aquatic gills on their face.

They jump up and down in excitement upon seeing you.

"It's another slugcat! It's another slugcat!" It says, clearly an energetic one.

It continues speaking excitedly.

"Hwah! Another slugcat! Did you come here to scavenge materials too?!"

>"im scavenging for love <3"

Without listening to your response, the gill-slugcat jumps up on top of you.

"Mmwah! You smell so good; you are so, so good!"

"woa, calm down... ur being obnoxious." you reply.

It's not that you have anything against it per se,

but this one just seems to be incredibly excited about you, and that makes you uncomfortable.

"Are you afraid of me?" The blue creature asks.

>”psh, no way, ur nothing”

The gill-slugcat giggles and then suddenly jumps down into a small puddle of water and disappears. The cave becomes very quiet after that. You wonder if they’re coming back or if maybe it didn’t like your answer.

>Chase after them

You decide to jump down into the puddle too, and find out where they went. You slip down into  the frigid water and begin to gasp as the cold water rapidly seeps through your thick skin. You try to look around underwater, but can’t see the other slugcat anywhere. You flail your arms about, and try to tread water, but it is no use. You’re disoriented and lose track of the way back out. It is only a few seconds later before you pass out.

END

>Wait.

After only a few minutes of waiting, you feel and hear an ominous rumbling. The slugcat springs back out of the puddle excitedly, a huge smile on their face. They are trailed by a monstrous mechanical beast larger than you’ve ever seen. You are not smiling. You are scared

>Roll out of the way

You try to move, but the beast is practically as large as the entire interior of the cave. Its mechanical jaw crushes around you like a prison. The other slugcat slips out swiftly with a giggle, while the jaws champ shut and shatter every bone in your body.

END

>”yea a little”

The slugcat suddenly leans forward and whispers in your ear. “That isn’t fear. That’s respect. I like a slug with some fear in their eyes. I like a challenge. You have a challenge for me, don’t you?”

>”uhhh…”

You still do not know what to make of this slugcat. Its body is blue and slimy and you do not feel particularly well about it. You would prefer to have a less hyperactive friend. You notice that it’s watching you very carefully, as if it is waiting for a chance to pounce on you. You cannot help but feel that it is a little too friendly and you are not quite sure why. Perhaps it is just the effect of the creature’s natural exuberance and you are over-thinking it.

>Break the silence.

“umm, i should probably-”

“So, anyway, if you’re looking to date me, you need to meet my mother first.”

“what”

“Sorry, it’s a requirement. Do you want to go see her now?”

“i… well… uh…”

>”no i really gotta be going now…”

The slugcat looks at you quizzically. “You gotta be going now… to go see me mother?”

“no-”

“Yay!! i’m so glad! Let’s go!!”

They pounce on your back, flip over your shoulders, and then grasp your hand firmly. Before you can react, you are being swiftly dragged out of the cave by them.

>”yo, dude, wait!!”   go to (1)

>”yea sure i guess…”

“Yay!! It’s been so long since we had a visitor!” They excitedly run circles around you and then grasp your hand firmly. “Come on, come on, let’s go!!” Before you know it, you’re being swiftly dragged out of the cave by them.

>”woa!!”

(1) You’re rapidly escorted along the surface of the water towards a towering monolith of a structure in the distance. The slugcat does not let up their energy as they take you inside the structure and quickly weave through a maze of interior passages.

>”ur mother lives here??”

“Yeah she’s right in this next room!” You emerge into a large metallic chamber the floors of which are soaked with pools of water. A mechanical device floats around the chamber, gleaming with floating lights. You don’t understand. “huh, where ur mom at??” “What do you mean, she’s right there!” The slugcat excitedly points towards the floating device, then randomly does a backflip.

>”wat do u mean??”

You question everything, was this a trap? Is this even a viable partner? There is no doubt in your mind now that the slugcat must be a construct, a programmed puppet controlled by her mother’s voice. She is not truly alive in any way you can tell. This is simply the next generation of a very old tradition, using a new form of technology as a tool.

>”nice to meet u.”

The device floats over to you. “Oh, how sweet, nice to meet you too!~” It looks towards the other slugcat. “Is this your new friend? I always enjoy having more company.” Their mom seems very polite. You feel a little more comfortable.

“Yea i think were dating now or something?”

“How adorable! A new member of the family! What’s your name?”

>”uh… i don’t have a name…”

“What, how can you not have a name?” Their mom seems astonished.

“It’s fine mom, don’t be weird about it.” The other slugcat interjects.

“No, we need to give them a nickname. How about Sofanthiel?”

“What?? Mom, what kind of name is that? That sounds dumb.”

“Okay, fine, what about Gorbo?”

“Mom, you’re like… the worst at coming up with names??”

“Shhh, Ruffles, I'm trying to think here.”

“I told you not to call me that…”

>”uh, its okay, lets just get back on track…”

(2) Suddenly your stomach starts to rumble. “Okay, forget all of that, you poor thing, you must be starving!” Your partner’s mother orbits around you with concern. “I can’t believe my child didn’t feed you before coming here, they have no manners!” You try to track her position as the robotic arm spirals around frantically. “They’re trying to date and yet don’t even know how to take care of you, for shame!~”

“nah its cool im used to starving…” you shrug.

>”do u have any food tho?”

“All we have at the moment are these marshmallows that Ruffles gathered last time they were out.” You recoil at the food item. It’s not one you’re familiar with, and you’re not sure what to make of it. “You can have some, we have plenty.”

>Eat the glowy food instead

“nah im good ill just take one of these.” You jump up and grab one of the glowy items floating in the air. Almost immediately as you touch it, your partner;s mother lets out a guttural screech, piercing your eardrums. You don’t know what’s happening. You turn quickly to look back at the other slugcat in confusion, but they appear to be screaming as well.

>”uh did i do something wrong?”

“STOP HURTING MY MOM!!” The other slugcat skips across the surface of the water pool at the speed that should not be physically possible. Before you know it their hands are around your throat. They push you down under the water and hold you there. You struggle to get free, but there’s no hope. The glow of the floating food items twinkle above the surface of the water, looking like stars. It’s a beautiful final vision to end your journey on.

END

>”take the marshmallow”

You stick the marshmallow in your mouth, and it is immediately not what you were expecting. While it is soft and chewy like a good slime mold would be, it has an added layer of awful spice. It’s actually so gross. Your entire mouth is on fire. As you swallow, you feel as if acid is running through your insides. You fall to the ground in pain. What did you just eat?! The world around you goes blurry as the fire rages inside. This will be your final meal.

END

>Offer your egg

“Ah, you would like me to read this? It’s a bit dusty, but I will do my best. Hold on…” Their mother begins to explain the properties of the egg to you in excruciating detail.

>”wat?? no don't explain it, make food with it!!”

“Oh, of course! It’s been a while since i’ve cooked a proper meal!” The machine twirls around through the air excitedly. “With this egg we can make a classic, yet somewhat modern Slug Cake!”

“u need more than an egg for that…” you say as you ponder the orbulus egg.

“I can improvise. I’ll have you know that I am a very capable cook!”

>”ok, good luck mom”

She suddenly pauses in the air with the egg.

“Wait a second… this egg?!”

“yea its an egg.”

“This egg is just the right amount of portable.”

“yea eggs tend to be that way.”

“This recipe would be just the right technical implementation.”

“implement this food into my mouth”

“Could this be the solution?!”

>”solution to my hunger, yes.”

She suddenly cracks the egg in half. A forceful suction begins that pulls the machine and all of the floating lights into it. As they collect into a central point, it’s as if all of their lights begin to combine to create an increasingly blinding glow. The suction only grows stronger, pulling the water, rocks and surrounding metal into it. You and your partner are caught up in this and get assimilated as well.

>Open your eyes

In this white void, everything has combined. Your memories remain, but so too have you acquired the memories of your partner and family. Have you found your soulmate, or have you become your soulmate? It seems like one in the same. A perfect, undeniable, shared understanding of each other. A soul combined in unison. This was the state of being you were searching for, you are sure of it.

END

>West (Gourmand)
You travel to the west, towards a very overgrown section of the world.

The world was once filled with many amazing things, and vegetation was one of them.

By traveling to the west, you are searching towards a place that has grown wild with plants and flowers.

As you make your way up a hill, you see a large hefty slugcat, who seems

to have no problem maintaining their diet in this challenging world.

As you watch, you notice that they seem to have the ability to generate

infinite objects by regurgitating them from their stomach.

You approach carefully, unsure of whether to attack or to speak to them.

>Down (Saint)
You descend beneath the ground, to the deepest reaches where the nature of reality distorts, the

fog demons roam, and past civilizations border the void. Surely for someone with your experiences,

this would be the most appropriate location to potentially find a mate to spend your life with.

However, it is not always so.

Once the search begins, one does not always find what they are looking for.

>Explore the void.

The void is a place of instability and decay. It is a place that can't even be

properly defined or accurately described. Rather it is a state of non-conformity

in which everything may be possible, and nothing is certain.

>Look around.

You look around, and you see that you are not alone.

There are other creatures like yourself, scuttling around amongst the rocks.

You hear a sound, like the chomping of jaws.

You need to be careful, as it's very dark here, and predators could be hidden around any corner.

=Trivia=